Obviously, none of this is intended to denigrate, deprecate, minimize, demean or insult anyone of any particular religious belief system, or the religious systems themselves. But this is funny nonetheless.
TAOISM: Shit happens
BUDDHISM: If shit happens it isn't really shit.
HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.
ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you deserve it.
PROTESTANTISM: Work harder or shit will happen.
MATERIALISM: Whoever dies with the most shit wins.
ATHEISM: I can’t believe this shit.
JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us?
RASTAFARIANISM: Let’s smoke this shit.
MORMON: Excrement happens. Because shit is a bad word.
AGNOSTICISM: It’s impossible to tell if this is shit or not.
WICCAN: Any shit you give will come back to you 3 times.
LAW OF ATTRACTION: As you think, so you shit.
TV EVANGELIST: Send the shit in. OR: Send me all your shit.
SHINTO: Shit is a part of nature, so let’s celebrate shit.
CHARISMATIC CHRISTIAN: We can heal shit.
CAPITALISM: Life is a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you eat.
EXISTENTIALISM: We don’t know if shit really happens. We only know our experience of shit happening.
JEHOVAH’S WITNESS: Knock, knock. Shit happens.
QUANTUM PHYSICS: Shit is everywhere and nowhere all at once until observed.
ZEN: This shit is nothing.
SHAMANISM: You haven’t even begun to imagine how deep this shit goes.
ZOROASTRIANISM: This shit is the origin of all other shit.
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